Fallacy
by Komillia
Summary: [Are you happy now, mother?] Sialeeds sees her mother at her deathbed. [Suikoden V]


**Fallacy**

**_Notes: _**_Just finished Suikoden V yesterday and knew that I had to write something. I thought Sialeeds was an interesting character from the start and the complex history surrounding the royal family was fascinating. I hope you'll like reading this story, it doesn't contain any big spoilers in case you haven't finished the game yet._**  
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"Please enter, Her Majesty is expecting you."

The guard stepped aside with a simple, yet respectful bow. The door he had been guarding swung open slowly, the hinges squeaking quietly. She entered the room without a word, careful to take light steps in order to make as little noise as possible.

Even though it was dark outside, the rooms in the palace were usually well-lit. But there were few candles burning in this room and she noticed how some of the candles had already burned out. In the dim light she could barely make out the bed in the middle of the room and the one lying in it covered by a thick duvet. The only thing she could see clearly was the white coat of the physician who stood next to the bed.

"Your Highness..." he started, but she shook her head.

Never again would she be addressed in that way.

"Leave us..." a weak voice ordered, coming from the sickly person in the bed.

The physician said no more, he bowed and left the room quickly. Once the door was closed, she felt as if breathing suddenly became much more difficult in this dimmed, closing room. The person in the bed found the strength to turn her head and finally saw who her visitor was.

"...Sialeeds?"

Upon hearing her name being called, she finally moved forward to sit on the chair that stood by the bed.

"Mother," she greeted, surprising herself when she heard how little emotion that word brought out.

"Where is Arshtat?" her mother whispered immediately. There was almost a desperate look in her large eyes that Sialeeds was forced to meet. Eyes that Sialeeds had inherited and not Arshtat.

"Forgive her, but little Lymsleia has come down with a fever and Arshtat cannot bear to leave her," Sialeeds apologized, lowering her eyes a little.

"...I see..."

Her voice was so coarse, weak and quiet. Sialeeds could hardly believe that this woman was her mother, Falzrahm, the queen of Falena. The one who had claimed the throne against the will of half the country and all the succession laws. She had struggled to become queen for so many years, sacrificing her husband and countless of his kin for that cause. Now she lay dying in this dark room, after only two short years as queen. Was this what she had fought for?

"Haswar has come from Lunas," Sialeeds went on. "Would you like to see her?"

For the first time in weeks, queen Falzrahm showed a little energy when her eyes widened.

"That girl bears no goodwill towards me!" she exclaimed. "Has she come to kill me now or will she wait until I am dead to mutilate my corpse!"

Her rant would have gone on if she had not started to cough violently. Sialeeds closed her eyes for a second, repressing a sigh. Her mother's words could not be further from the truth and Sialeeds could not help but to feel angry when thinking about the girl waiting on the other side of the door. Haswar had come to offer her support to Arshtat and, if permitted, to Falzrahm in her last moments. Despite everything that had happened, it was quite the opposite of what Falzrahm thought. Only Haswar was saintlike enough to not bear any ill will against the one who had ruthlessly ordered the murder of her mother.

Knowing that her thoughts would only lead to more anger, Sialeeds forced herself to stop thinking about it and drop the subject. By that time Falzrahm's coughing had ceased and she lay her head back on the pillow, seemingly as weak and tired as before.

"There is... one thing I must speak to you about..." she wheezed.

"I'm listening," Sialeeds replied.

Falzrahm started to cough again and Sialeeds reached for the glass of water that stood on the table next to the bed. But before the water was rejected with a wave of Falzrahm's hand and shortly afterwards she returned to normal.

"...I must ask you..." Falzrahm went on. "...to not fight your sister. Your sister will become queen after I die... and she will have Ferid at her side. You must understand, she is the eldest and this is her destiny. I know you think it unfair, to be denied right to the throne because of birth order. But you are young... both you and Gizel are far too young to rule a country together. Arshtat and Ferid will do good... they are most suitable to carry on my legacy!"

Sialeeds watched her mother, who suddenly gained a little more strength which was enough to grab Sialeeds' hand and cling to it like it was life itself. Despite her first impulse to pull away, Sialeeds didn't and instead stared into her mother's almost panicking eyes.

"You must promise me to never lay claim on Falena's throne!"

Eyes that resembled her own.

Sialeeds pulled her hand away as if she had been burnt.

"I will not," she spoke in a low voice.

Falzrahm's bottom lip trembled, as if she was on the verge of crying. But Sialeeds did not relent and looked upon her mother with determination.

"You speak of destiny, birth order, suitability," Sialeeds began, each word spoken harshly. "How I should not lay claim on the throne because I am not suitable or the eldest, but it is not me you speak of, it is yourself!"

She was fully aware that she was frightening her own mother and perhaps making her condition worse but at the moment she did not care. This was, perhaps, her last chance to voice all the thoughts she had kept secret the past few years.

"You had both aunt Shahrewar and her husband murdered because you could not accept those things. Countless people died because of your ambitions. And now you ask me to promise you to not follow in your footsteps?"

Taking a deep breath, Sialeeds leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms. Her mother was still staring at her, shocked and at a loss for words.

"I met with Arshtat and Haswar before coming here," Sialeeds told. "Haswar and I entered a pact, we surrendered our right to the throne and swore to never marry or have children."

There was relief in Falzrahm's eyes and she let out a quiet sigh. After a moment she looked thankful and there was no longer any fear or anxiousness in her eyes. A candle burned out, causing the room to become darker than it already was.

Sialeeds closed her eyes.

"I entered that pact with Haswar because of Arshtat," she went on. "Because she is my sister, who I love and I would rather die than to cause her any pain or harm. Nor would I ever want to harm Haswar. I don't want the throne, but not because of destiny, birth right or even what's best for Falena."

She learned forwards slightly, closing the distance between her and her mother. Opening her eyes, Falzrahm stared into the eyes of her daughter, the ones that resembled hers. Yet, when she looked at them, their eyes were as different as day and night.

"If I have to make a promise to _you_, it means that on some level you think there is a possibility that one day I will follow in your footsteps..." Sialeeds whispered. "But you are wrong, I am nothing like _you_!"

A second candle burned out, leaving only half a dozen left. Sialeeds made no motion to replace the burned out candle, instead she sat up straight again and looked at her mother with the strangest thing on her lips... a smile.

"Are you happy now, mother?"

Though breathing heavily, Falzrahm had closed her eyes. She answered her daughter's question with a simple nod and refused to look into her eyes again, out of fear and perhaps shame of what she would see.

Sialeeds sat there in silence, until the morning when all the candles had burned out and her mother was no longer with her.


End file.
